Page 22 - Scene Magazine 41-03 March 2016
P. 22

Let me start by saying
I am not a counselor. As I have experienced life over the years
I have discovered that we all have
a different way of looking at the
world. I prefer to experience life to the fullest and to find the joy in all that I do. Others, well lets say, find that their main role should be to discover all the reasons why an action might fail. Clearly we need both the optimist and the pessimist but the interaction between the two can often be interesting. Consider however, that even the optimist must look at the ups and downs of life with reality.
This concept became real to me when my mother became ill. Her pass- ing is what slapped me upside the head however. My family processed what had happened in the best way we knew how and managed to accomplish everything
that needed to be done. Had it not been for the support of staff and friends, the process would have been even more difficult. And so we continued on.
The beautiful outpouring of sup-
port was more helpful than one might expect. Comments from many of you about how my mother had touched your life in some way was precious to the entire family. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us.
What I found to be interesting though
were the expectations placed on me by others. The expectation that I should grieve in a certain way; the
expectation that I should change certain behaviors; the expectation that I would assume new roles; the expecta-
tion that life would continue on without affecting my way of looking at the world. And the big one... the expecta- tion that while I was supposed to grieve, I couldn’t be “unhappy” around anyone, because that just, “wasn’t me” ... that was the most disturbing of all.
What is grieving all about anyway? Even in grief, we all respond differently. I just wanted the opportunity to grieve without the responsibility of carrying on with everyday life activities, or meeting other’s expectations, at least for a short while. And yet, it was those activities that allowed me to push forward, day-

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