Page 23 - Scene Magazine 41-03 March 2016
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by-day, moving on with my blessed
life in a new way. New responsibilities at work; new responsibilities with the family; preparing for a wedding that my mother would not be at; continuing with projects that were important to her; and still finding myself in there somewhere. For me, Tolstoy’s words hit the mark. “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
For me, it was through living and loving that healing occurred and joy resumed.
C.S. Lewis takes a different direction, however. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ~ A Grief Observed
Could it be true that there is fear in grief? Quite possibly, but I tend to think
that it’s a reaction to what the future might look like instead of what was planned. Part of that fear might come from not knowing the direction that life will now take without this significant person to bounce off ideas, successes, challenges, joy, and so much more. The resulting fear will cause us to make de- cisions and take action or lack thereof.
Some experience grief in such a way that it becomes their focus going for- ward, but alas that is not for me. Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits, describes the physical impact of grief. “The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind every- one could see – the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part
Sherii is Chief
Operating Officer for WW Thayne Advertising, and Executive Editor for Scene Magazine and Publisher for Senior Times.
of your soul that survived. For people like me and Echo, our souls contained more scar tissue than life.”
If you cannot get through the grief that you are experiencing consider scheduling a visit with a professional counselor.
I’m not sure, however, that missing
a loved one ever ends. My memories of my mother are so full that some days
it doesn’t even seem like she is gone. Her joy of life surrounds me in so many ways. The smallest of things, at the oddest of times, makes me reflect on my mother. From time to time the memories slip out for the world to see and a tear might slide down my face. Keep in mind that I might experience that same reac- tion with other joyous events in my life like the day my daughter was married.

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