Page 6 - Scene Magazine 41-03 March 2016
P. 6

As Scene By
I dug in. I pushed. I grumbled. I dug in. I pushed. I grumbled. It went on for an hour. Three days ear- lier, I raked leaves, I gathered sticks, and cleaned up the pres- ents left behind by
my dog... and TODAY, I’m shoveling a foot of snow.
It’s called complaining. No matter how many times I reminded myself that I ACTU- ALLY like shoveling snow – spring’s early tease – kept me from enjoying one of my favorite tasks. So, I grumbled. And, I com- plained with every shovel-full of snow.
There is a strip of paper glued to a shelf above my desk – and it says... “Quit feeling sorry for yourself and work the problem.” I’m not a complainer. Today, unfortunately, I am.
What the heck – let’s take a day off – and fill out a complaint form to life. Let the world know that I’ve been watching, and everything ain’t alright!
You know what? I’m getting old. I don’t mind – except for a couple little things. My bathroom mirror reminds me that wrinkles are lining my face rapidly... and my sagging
i Don’t like it
skin manages to trap food bits in the corner of my mouth that I don’t notice. Of course, my wife does notice – while we’re shopping – and wipes those bits away with a wetted finger. I don’t like it.
I’m complaining that these days I go to more funerals than weddings. I watch the people I admire and love... hurt. It hurts me, too. I don’t like it.
I would like to submit a complaint about the “guy” who signed me up for a “free” cruise. Somehow, about once a week, I get a call that I’ve won a FREE CRUISE! Despite the fact that I insist I’d never be able to AFFORD “their” FREE cruise... they keep calling. I don’t like it!
I’m also pretty sure it’s the same guy who signed up me for new windows. I ALREADY HAVE NEW WINDOWS! But, they keep calling.
Do you like squash? My wife, Terri, does. She cooks and presents it in a variety of ways. It smells delightful. It looks inviting. It TASTES like... basement! Terri laughs when I say it. No matter how much I want too... I don’t like it.
Sunday nights. Sure, it might feature YOUR FAVORITE television show – but it’s the end of the weekend. I wish you could spend a Saturday with Terri and I.
We could brag a million brags about what we get done every Saturday. Groceries, yard work, estate sales, a long walk, a pot of soup from scratch, a bit of home remodeling, a fire by the deck, some cards and drinks with friends. Saturdays? Awesome! Sundays? NOT! I stay up too late, hoping the weekend won’t end. But it always does. I don’t like it.
I’d like to complain about the day before the day before I get to go do something I’ve been waiting to do FOREVER. Sounds confusing, doesn’t it? December 23rd? October 29th? Two days before vacation? Now, it sounds familiar, right? Those days are REALLY, REALLY, HORRIBLY long. I’d like to send in a complaint... I don’t like it.
During highway driving, there will be at least one occasion when a semi truck passes another. Not a big deal in 1976. In 2016, I don’t like it. Why? Because the passing truck is going 65-1/2 mph as it passes a truck going 65-1/4 mph. AND... nobody likes it.
Funny sidebar... while proofing this column for me – Terri said... “Not your best column.”
“Really?” I said. “Why?’
Her answer? “Too much complaining – I don’t like it!”
Be a super sleuth... join the ongoing hunt for Rick DeRuiter
Pour through the pages of Scene this month and find the
elusive DeRuiter. Warn your friends. Warn your neighbors. He’s in there somewhere, waiting for the one lucky detective to find him!
lAst MontH... Page 17 lAst MontH’s Winner... MArGAret McclellAn
LOOK! - Now you can e-mail your detective work too! Include your name, daytime phone and what page you found him.
or on-line at...
Have you found him in this issue?
If yes, call Scene at 979-1410 ext. 307 to have your name entered in the drawing to receive A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO A LOCAL EATERY. You must make your discovery by April 1, 2016 and the winner will be announced in the next issue of Scene!

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