Page 9 - Scene Magazine September 2021 46-09

Scene Around Town
BY PETER PHELPS
break drinks. Not me, I don’t consume coffee. I know, I am in the minority on this one, but darn it, every time I try to drain some of that dark roast, I get all jumpy. I guess it’s the caffeine that does it.
to drain the sleep from their systems, I managed to be perky without the perk. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not
Relatively new phenomena to ‘coffee-dom’ are gourmet blends in bizarre sizes. You have the grande jamocha bonbon supreme espresso; a piccolo frothe latte, which sounds a little off key to me; a venti malty mac- chiato starring the Karate Kid; a café rubusto frappe with a floating image of an artichoke; or a trenta schlagobers affogato for desserto.
I remember as a kid, my father would start his day with a big ol’ cup of java. When I sat down at breakfast, he would look over the top of his read-
ing glasses, smile, then slosh a little coffee over the rim into the saucer and offer it to me. I would then doctor it up with a splotch of milk and a couple of teaspoons of sugar so I could force it down. Talk about blonde and sweet.
against those who imbibe, but I just never acquired the taste of the dark brown stuff. Every time I take a gander down in those cups or mugs, I see the faces of Juan Valdez and his faithful pet mule Conchita staring back causing me to lose all interest.
I get it; we all have different tastes. But just for fun, if you really want to give the barista a daunting duty, order
a cup of coffee black. You’ll get some officious ogling from everyone within hearing distance. I guess for those who want to ‘Be Scene Around Town,’ regu- lar black coffee portafilters pedestrian.
Even on the dog days of Hoosier summers, when the temps competed with the humidity, my father would glug hot coffee down, forcing perspiration to pop up on his forehead.
As I said, I am certainly in the outnumbered. According to the George Gallup Group, 64+% of Americans drink coffee; on average, at least three cups a day. That percolates to about 150 million folks sitting around slurping, depending upon the temperature, 400 million cups a day. That is a lot of liq- uid. According to The Huffington Post, 52% of coffee drinkers would even forgo a shower to make time for their brunette brew. Whew, in more than one way. Doesn’t that grind your beans?
I know, your caffeinated concoction may not be my cup of tea, but it’s also not my demitasse of decaf either. So
to those who consume kaffee, I say beware... drinking too much of it might lead to a ‘latte’ problems. So as Señor Valdez never said, “No quiero ningún café!” (I’ll pass on the coffee!)
In college, while everyone else was blindly wandering across the quad into silent classrooms at 7:30am with their mugs of Joe in one hand and unread textbooks under their other arm trying
With autumn getting ready to ‘fall’ into place, and brisk morn- ings exposing our breath, folks will begin to think warming thoughts about their day-
Here is a test for you. On your way to work tomorrow, stop by one of those alphabet petrol stations and watch how many folks walk out with a Styrofoam cup clutched in one of their hands. But, before firing up their vehicles, they will re-arrange their cup holders to secure their nectar so they can merge into traf- fic without spilling their beverages.
Coffee grounds me to the bottom of the cup.
Have You Us!
Michelle Huffman-Markle
Community Navigator michelle.huffman-markle@baruchsls.org
4222 S. Westnedge Kalamazoo MI, 49008
Cell 269-967-4946 Phone 269-388-7303
Beth Crabtree
LMT, Reiker Master
HOURS VARY MON.– THURS.
TWO LOCATIONS TO CHOOSE FROM:
7055 Tower Road, Suite C, in Battle Creek 1125 E. Milham Avenue, Suite C, in Portage
269-870-0396
Book online at www.MassageBook.com/me/Beth-Crabtree
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