Page 6 - Senior Times South Central Michigan - June 2019 - 26-06
P. 6

Page 6
Senior Times - June 2019
By: Sherii Sherban, Publisher
Sibling rivalry can be one of the most challenging sources of turmoil families face, even into adulthood. Sometimes it kicks
into full gear after adulthood as emotions arise from resentment, judgement, and more. When we can overcome the challenges of our youth then we can create a greater support system for aging parents as well as model behaviours that our children will learn from.
sibling sees your commitment to change, your relationships with others will improve, and hopefully them as well.
ing adjustment of power in relationships. Healthy children must eventually develop their own identity, separate and apart from their parents. When conflicts arise, parents and children may bicker endlessly for control of their relationship. As they grow, first born children may be able to intimidate their par- ents if their parents were latter born children. They may demand a form of respect that we we’re not prepared to give. Both children and parents can make mistakes, and both must learn to apologize when they are wrong, to forgive when they are right, and to respect each others’ differences when they disagree. If, however, our pride gets in the way and we find ourselves competing with our children, we may be re-enacting old battles.
Forgiveness and Repentance in Sibling Relationships
If we've had conflict with siblings in the past, it's rarely too late to make a new start. It just requires commitment to the effort. Sibling rivalry can be taken into many aspects of our everyday life without even realizing it, especially as is pertains to pat- terns of communication and handling dis- agreements. Consider the following:
Although siblings grow up in the same household, each has distinct personalities and interests. These differences can trigger conflict, even after we become adults. If we practice principles of kindness, repentance, forgiveness, charity, love, and generosi-
• Conflicts in our roles as spouses. When spouses experience marital problems, they sometimes lock horns and defend their status as “the one who is right.” At times, it takes
• Conflicts between grown children and parents. While few of us are comfortable with the aging process, even fewer of us want to feel treated like “children” by our children. Older adults sometimes feel a loss of status when their previous strengths seem frail by comparison. Parents who were once in charge and all-powerful, often have diffi- culty relinquishing their authority and allow- ing themselves to be cared for by their grown children. But this reversal of roles is a natural part of life. Adult children need to show their elderly parents sufficient concern, and aging parents need to show their children adequate appreciation. Most of us simply want respect, but in the name of stubbornness, some elders may refuse to anoint their children as their successors; and in the name of stubbornness, some grown children may decide to abort family traditions.
ty, we're more likely to build harmonious relationships with our adult brothers and sisters. When sibling rivalry causes deep rifts, forgiveness can be a healing balm. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to do. We may feel so hurt by a sibling that we conclude his or her actions are beyond repentance.
a bulldozer to bring both partners to the bar- gaining table. Rather than view the discus- sion of problems as the road to solutions, the underlying battle sometimes becomes “there is nothing wrong with me.” We may confuse our need to be right with our willingness to fix our relationships.
Sometimes we need to forgive even when a sibling hasn't asked to be forgiven. This principle is especially important in families where tiny molehills of misunderstanding are fanned into mountains of argument. If a sib- ling has wronged us, we can't control when he or she seeks our pardon, if they ever do. In the meantime, if we choose to hold grudg- es or harbor resentment, then that pain can often be passed on to future generations.
• Conflicts in our roles as parents. When parents experience the challenges of meeting the needs of their children and then have to balance that with the needs of their aging parents having the support of siblings can
If we are the one who has wronged a sib- ling, it's up to us to change our hearts. Don’t expect acceptance overnight but when your
be priceless. The role as parent sometimes, however is so consuming that it may inter- fere with the role we agreed to with siblings. A regular time of conversation with siblings regarding the duplicity of roles that everyone plays can create a support system in both directions.
Sibling Rivalry Doesn’t Stop at the Front Door
• Birth order may influence our roles as parents. Raising children requires the on-go-
As adults, we have the opportunity to
Hastings Woodland
Albion Battle Creek Battle Creek Battle Creek Marshall Tekonsha
Jackson Jackson Napoleon Spring Arbor
COA Building Eagles Club
Theresa Lancaster Leona Rairigh
(269) 948-4856
(269) 367-4041
M-F 10am-2pm
M,W,F 10:30am-1pm
Faith United Methodist
Angela Soya
(269) 579-3918
Main St. Banqets
Jenny Burlison
(517) 213-9212
Meals provided by Barry County Commission on Aging. A program sponsored by Barry County United Way.
Coldwater Church of Christ
Alisha Carr
(517) 279-8249
Lunch Served at 12pm
Meals provided by Community Action Food and Nutritional Services. Funding sources AAA 3C, Branch County United Way, USDA, and private donations.
Albion Forks Senior Dining Center
Cynthia Rose
(866) 200-8877
Lunch served at 12pm
Clarence Township Dining Center Bedford Manor Dining Center Lakeview 900 Territorial Dining Center Westbrook Place Dining Center Heritage Commons
Tekonsha Community Hall
Mark Rice Billy Castle Karl Hoard Michelle Dove Kitty Knoll
Senior Health Partners
(866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (269) 558-6150
(269) 441-0948
M,T,W M,T,W,Th,F M,W,F M,T,W,Th,F T, Th
10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 12-1pm
Lunch served at 11:45am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 12pm
Senior Fit & Fun, Lunch after
Athens Lighthouse Community Center
Senior Health Partners
(269) 441-0948
Senior Fit & Fun, Lunch after
Battle Creek
Cherryhill Manor Senior Center
Constance Siegel
(866) 200-8877
Lunch served at 11:30am
Battle Creek
Springview Towers Dining Center
Eileen Worthington
(866) 200-8877
Lunch served at 11:30am
Homer Presbyterian Church
Senior Health Partners
(269) 441-0948
Senior Fit & Fun, Lunch after
Marshall House Dining Center
Deb Trescott
(866) 200-8877
Lunch served at 12pm
All sites have hot and cold meals. Meals provided by Senior Services SW MI. Funding by Calhoun County Senior Services, CareWell Services - AAA 3B, USDA, and private donations.
Grass Lake
Grass Lake Food With Friends
Annie Lavergne
(517) 788-4364
T, Th
Lunch served at 12pm
Crouch Senior Center
King Rec Center, Food with Friends Napoleon Township Hall
Spring Arbor Senior Center
Laurie Mead Laurie Mead Gail Jamieson
Shimone Glaspie
(517) 788-4364 (517) 788-4364 (517) 788-4364
(517) 750-1010
M,T,W,Th,F M,T,W,Th,F T, Th M,T,W,Th,F
8am-4pm 10:30am-1:30pm 10:30am-1:30pm
Lunch served at 12pm Lunch served at 12pm Lunch served at 12pm
Lunch served at 12pm
Park Forest
Laurie Mead
(517) 788-4364
Lunch served at 12pm
Michigan Center
St. Aidan’s Episcopal Church
Laurie Mead
(517) 788-4364
Lunch served at 12pm
Norvell/Township Hall
Gail Jamieson
(517) 788-4364
Lunch served at 12pm
To have your senior dining center added or changes to your listing, Call Sherii at (269) 979-1412 ext. 302 or Email:

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