Page 4 - Senior Times South Central Michigan - August 2019 - 26-08

Page 4 Senior Times - August 2019
STEP INTO THEIR REALITY AND FIND JOY
By: Sherii Sherban, Publisher
I learned at an early age that facts are not always the most important thing when it comes to someone living with dementia. In fact, sometimes being willing to step into their reality can be more beneficial for everyone.
with therapeutic fibbing. This simply means agree- ing or saying things that are not true to avoid caus- ing someone distress and to make them feel safe and comforted.
the details of the passing, again, instead let them know that they are simply not here right now.
In their persistence you may need to repeat your response or you can try redirecting to another topic or activity altogether. Continually telling them that their spouse has died is cruel. Your therapeutic fib- bing instead can provide comfort and reassurance.
Damage to the brain for the person with demen- tia causes progressive decline in the ability to understand and process information. As a result, their brain may experience a different version of reality.
For them, the reality that they are in is correct. The factualness of the details really does not mat- ter in the scheme of things. In fact, if you’re will- ing to go with them on their journey you can learn amazing things about them and what was import- ant to them during their lifetime.
By redirecting, I am referring to helping the person move their thought fixations toward some- thing more constructive or something they will feel better about. You will be most successful when you can remain calm. Your attitude, words, and behav- iors should be consistent in order to gently shift the repeated questioning or behavior.
Insisting on the truth, especially about an emotional subject or loss of a loved one, is likely to cause your older adult repeated pain, confu- sion, and distress, and is frankly cruel.
The trick is for you to understand why you’re jumping into their reality instead of feel- ing as if you are lying to your loved one. Let go and learn about them.
It’s truly a skill for the caregiver. Going along with their story is different than lying to them for the intent of causing harm. You are joining their story for the purpose of engaging with them, val- idating feelings, or even creating joy. Seeing the smile on their face is the reward that you cannot achieve by forcing them to admit a different reali- ty, which may lead to despair.
1. Start with a calm and confident approach.
I can tell you from personal experience that try- ing to argue the facts with someone with dementia is frustrating for both parties, and in the end, the person with dementia will win. And while this is not about winning and loosing, the reality is that you can both win if you are willing to meet your loved one right where they are.
It is easy to get frustrated with repeated question- ing and to become emotionally charged. It is not uncommon to want to shout, and sometimes it may happen. Rather than beating yourself up, learn from it. Take the time now to consider how you might redirect the conversation when the question- ing comes again. Because the reality is that it is coming, again.
200 W. Michigan Avenue, Suite 103 | Battle Creek, MI 49017
269-441-9319 | www.seniorcarepartnersmi.org
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The good news is that you can still interact with your loved one without causing the pain and distress that you may have experienced in the past
Imaging that their spouse has died and they keep asking where they are. Rather than sharing
You can redirect more effectively, though, if you're less insistent, less upset, less direct. Stick to a calm, friendly tone. They are more likely to
Helping Seniors Remain
Independent
NUMBER OF UNITS INDEPENDENT LIVING ASSISTED LIVING SKILLED NURSING ALZHEIMER / DEMENTIA RESPITE CARE
ADULT DAY CARE PETS
RESIDENT PARKING TRANSPORTATION PRIVATE PAY NURSE ON DUTY REHAB
LONG TERM STAY SHORT TERM STAY MEDICATION DELIVERY LAUNDRY HOUSEKEEPING ACTIVITIES
100% MEALS
24 HOUR STAFFING LICENSED FACILITY SPECIFIC DIET PLANS
SENIOR HOUSING
GUIDE
ADVANTAGE LIVING CENTER
01 675 Wagner Drive, Battle Creek, MI 49017 Cyndi Marshall, 269-969-6244
82
24
120
95
20
40
65
68
113
61
111
30
72
BARNEYVILLE SENIOR APARTMENTS
02 420 S. Webster St, Homer, MI 49245 Teresa Ellis, 517-568-4393
CALHOUN COUNTY MEDICAL CARE FACILITY
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EVERGREEN SENIOR CARE & REHAB CENTER
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GRAND VISTA ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITY
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GRAND VISTA ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITY
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HEARTLAND HEALTH CARE CENTER
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HERITAGE
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08 14420 Helmer Road South, Battle Creek, MI Marketing Director, 269-969-4000
LAKEVIEW MEADOWS
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09 890 Territorial Road, Battle Creek, MI Mandi Burrows, 269-968-0300
LAKEVIEW ASSISTED LIVING
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MAPLE GROVE APARTMENTS
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= CITY ✚ = MED MANAGEMENT  = EMERGENCY CALL Like to be added? Email Christyn McCleary at csherban@wwthayne.com.