Page 25 - Senior Times South Central Michigan December 2020 - 27-12
P. 25

 As we close out this year, I sit and wonder how many of us have some dif- ficult conversations with those we love that we should have?
Have you had any rough relation- ships with someone and the reason
they are rough is maybe a rough past relationship? Have you treated some- one unfairly and not made amends and really, it was of no fault of their own?
How about as a family caregiver, have you been angry or short tempered with the person you are providing care to and the whole reason is because you are exhausted? Have you ever not done a task for the person you are caring
for because you think they are just try- ing to get on your nerves by repeated asking for something or repeating a question? These are some pretty wide ranged questions but I am trying to
get you thinking (and if you have, be forgiving of yourself and realize how important self-care is for your ability to provide the best care for your loved one).
There is so much to life and how we handle relationships; every day responsibilities, work, home life, etc. Sometimes if we put our feelings (egos) aside and just have a conversa- tion, we can learn some of the reasons behind what has gone astray. And, the sooner we do, the better the relation- ship we may have!
My Mom has always been so amaz- ing to me. She puts family first, her kids, and grandkids – oh, boy there was nothing better and nothing she would not do for any of us. Growing up she always had extra when that friend would be there at dinnertime, never turned away anybody and many times, I think she gave up her own meal for someone else.
I bring this up because the past few months, I have been fortunate to have some conversations with my Mom
and it has cleared up some questions I have had for many, many years. I was always too afraid to bring up the ques- tions for fear it may hurt feelings (hers or mine) or I may not like the answers I hear – but I am so glad we talked.
Communication is so very import- ant – in any relationship. It is a two- way street and although difficult at times, can make such a difference. How many of us have relationships that could be better if we had more conversations? If we just asked some questions, maybe we could learn more about a person, even a person we think we know so much about.
Mom and I have had a somewhat
oil and water relationship yet I am so much like her in many ways. She has always been a “male” person (and there is nothing wrong with that) meaning she tends to be partial to them (again nothing wrong with that) but I could never figure it out.
I have been very blessed with my Mom and this has been harder than I ever imagined so I really encourage you to have a conversation today – you always think you have time, but do you?
Caregiver's Senior Times - December 2020 CORNER
Anne Clark, Special to Senior Times
Page 25
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trait. She was like her Mom who also was partial to males. WOW was that
a revelation and sometimes we do
not think about why we are the way we are (guess who I tend to be partial towards!). This led me to wonder; how many of us have relationships that could be better if we had more conver- sations? If we just ask some questions, maybe we could learn more about a person, even a person we think we know so much about.
She has always been a wonderful example of love, caring, family first – and you stuck together no matter what – I love that about her and should have expressed it far more to make our rela- tionship better.
You see, I am writing this article as I sit in my Mom’s hospice room. We have no idea how long this journey will be but one thing I know for sure, I spent too many years with questions I should have asked.
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                                           Through our conversations what I discovered is – it was a handed down
Be Blessed, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year and if you have your Momma, hug her extra!
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