Page 21 - Senior Times South Central Michigan April 2021 - 28-04

Senior Times - April 2021 Page 21
Specific problems that may arise – While most people gradually recover from the death of a long-term spouse, there are unique problems and circumstances that can complicate or extend the healing process. As their child, you should be cognizant of the potential areas, which can cause obstacles and seek to minimize them.
life. Encourage your parent to sign up for community courses for the elderly in local colleges, universities, local chapters of the American Association for Retired Persons (AARP), or senior centers. They may find friends with common interests and learn new skills that will allow them to connect with a broader world.
Loss of independence – The death of a spouse emphasizes the physical fragility of the survivor. As people grow older, muscle strength declines, and problems with balance and gait appear. Neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s, high blood pressure, neuropathy, and vision problems such as glaucoma and cataracts can cause unsteadi- ness and falls and may require certain medi- cations. A pair of people living together can look after one another and call for help when necessary – but a person living alone lacks that security.
Loneliness and depression – Intermittent periods of depression and loneliness invari- ably accompany the death of spouse. In fact, healthy grieving is a process that can last
getting out and about is a major step in com- ing to terms with the loss of a loved one.
If your elderly parent wants to live alone but may be subject to falls, consider improv- ing the physical environment of the home by removing loose rugs, installing railings on stairs, adding ramps, and putting grab bars
in the bathrooms. Adding a home monitoring system may give you and your elderly parent peace of mind.
Signs of complicated grief include the following:
Many older people who lose a partner find that help is plentiful in the early days, but that it tapers off after a few weeks. Keep an eye on your parent and increase your visits or phone calls around this time, to reassure them that they are not forgotten.
New tasks to learn – During the 50-plus years of marriage a husband may have rarely written a check, paid a bill, or determined which investments were made in the family’s retirement accounts. In other families, the wife may have let her husband take care of all financial matters. Some surviving partners do not know how to cook or to drive a car.
Grief has physical consequences – loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, headache, fatigue, and muscle tension – which gener- ally result in decreased exercise, deficient diet, and an over-reliance on medication. If your parent seems to be stuck in a con- tinuing cycle of depression, seek psycho- logical help, and encourage them to talk to friends or a spiritual advisor.
Keep busy – Everyone needs to spend time grieving, but it is important to try to enjoy life too. Your parent may not feel like socializing, and they might need a fair bit of encouragement to leave the house, but
Take time for yourself and your immedi- ate family and seek a support group if nec- essary. Find a list on page 5 of this issue. Be sure you maintain a good diet, keep exercis- ing, and get plenty of sleep. And focus on the good memories of the parent who is gone as well as the one who survives. Remember that time will eventually lessen your pain.
When a spouse dies, the survivor is required to assume new responsibilities, which can be overwhelming. Fortunately, technology has become increasingly sim- ple, so that even the most unfamiliar can learn basic tasks necessary to everyday
for months or years. However, as time goes by, the periods of loneliness and depressions usually become shorter while the periods between depressions extend. In some cases, however, months can go by without any sign of improvement. Mental professionals call this condition “complicated grieving.”
Take time to take your parent shopping, or out for lunch, or for coffee. Encourage them to attend social events and catch up with friends and family. Perhaps you could persuade your loved one to join a volunteer group or work for a charity for one or two days a week.
• An inability to accept that death has occurred.
• Frequent nightmares and intrusive memories.
Remember to take care of yourself – Trying to help your parent recover from death-related grief is akin to rescuing some- one from drowning. You may be struggling with your own depression and feelings of guilt and regret. If you find that you cannot help your father or mother without sacrific- ing yourself in the process, ask for help from other family members, a friend, or a mental health professional.
• Withdrawal from social contact.
• Constant yearning for the deceased.
COVID RESOURCES
Call First
During this transitional time you may have many questions regarding what actions you should be taking, as well as how to access community resources. Be sure to call first, rather than to visit. And remember, just because an area is opening, it doesn’t mean that you have to participate until you are ready to do so.
Jackson County COVID-19 Updates
Region 3A - Kalamazoo County
Health and Community Services Dept.
Service Area: Kalamazoo County
3299 Gull Road, Nazareth, MI 49074-0042 https://www.kalcounty.com/hcs/covid19.php (269) 373-5173
Center for Disease Control & Prevention
Jackson County Health Department Hotline (517) 788-4420, opt 9
Center for Family Health Hotline number for testing (517) 748-5363
Henry Ford MyCare Advice LIne (for testing) (313) 874-7500
Kalamazoo County COVID-19 Updates
https://www.kalcounty.com/hcs/covid19.php
AARP Resources:
AARP National Office resource page https://search.aarp.org/gss/everywhere?q=covid& intcmp=DSO-SRCH-EWHERE
AARP Michigan COVID resource page https://states.aarp.org/michigan/micovid19
Free call-in for National AARP teletown halls at 1pm every Thursday 1-855-274-9507
Community Connections, Friendly Voice Program
https://www.aarpcommunityconnections.org
Learn to offer fraud prevention programs online https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/
Fraud helpline: 1-877-908-3360
Caregiving resources: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving
Community Resources by AAA Regions
Region 2 Area Agency on Aging
Service Area:
Counties - Jackson, Hillsdale, Lenawee 102 N. Main St.,
PO Box 189 Brooklyn, MI 49230 https://www.r2aaa.net/index.php/covid-19 (517) 592-1974 or 1-800-335-7881
Other aging resources in Jackson County:
Jackson County Department On Aging
1715 Lansing Ave # 672 Jackson, MI 49202 www.co.jackson.mi.us/Agencies/DeptAging/ (517) 788-4364
Other aging resources in Kalamazoo County:
https://CDC.gov/coronavirus (800) 232-4632
Senior Services, Inc.
State of Michigan COVID page
918 Jasper Street, Kalamazoo, MI 49001 https://seniorservices1.org/?s=covid (269) 382-0515
https://www.michigan.gov/coronavirus/
CareWell Svs SW – Region 3B Area Agency on Aging
State COVID-19 Hotline
7 days/week, 8am-5pm, 1-888-535-6136.
Michigan Department of Health & Human Services 1-888-535-6163
Aging and Adult Service Agency for volunteering & food assistance https://www.michigan.gov/osa
Long Term Care Ombudsman 1-866-485-9393
Direct link to Locator for COVID testing https://www.michigan.gov/coronavirus/ 0,9753,7-406-99891_99912---,00.html
Mental Health
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-888-273-8255 for 24/7 support
Mental Health American www.mhanational.org
Warmline for Michiganders mental health conditions 7 days/week, 10am-2am
1-888-733-7753
Disaster Distress Helpline 888-985-5990
Summit Pointe 24-Hour Crisis 1-800-632-5449
NAMI -Calhoun County (269) 962-1762
Service Area: Counties – Barry, Calhoun 200 W. Michigan Ave. Suite 102
Battle Creek, MI 49017 http://carewellservices.org/covid-19/ (269) 966-2450
Calhoun County COVID-19 updates
Other aging resources in Branch County:
Branch County Commission On Aging
H. & C. Burnside Senior Center
65 Grahl Drive, Coldwater, MI 49036 www.burnsidecenter.com, (517) 279-6565
calhouncountymi.gov
City of Battle Creek Updates https://battlecreekmi.gov/718/COVID-19
https://www.mijackson.org/2295/Coronavirus
or 1-800-626-6719 (in-state only)
Other aging resources in Barry and Calhoun Counties:
320 W Woodlawn Ave., Hastings, MI 49058 https://www.barrycounty.org/commission_on_aging_new/ index.php
(269) 948-4856
315 W Green St., Marshall, MI 49068 https://www.calhouncountymi.gov/departments/public_ health_department/coronavirus_(covid-19).php
(269) 781-0846
200 W. Michigan Avenue,
Battle Creek, MI 49017 https://seniorservices1.org/?s=covid (269) 382-0515
Barry County Commission On Aging
Calhoun County Senior Services
Senior Services, Inc.
Region 3C Area Agency on Aging
Service Area: Counties – St. Joseph, Branch 570 Marshall Rd., Coldwater, MI 49036 www.bhsj.org
(517) 278-2538 or 1-888-615-8009